"What Society Does to Girls"
created Sept. 25, 2006
invited me over this past monday for some "arting." she had discovered artists creating on a trading card size format, (3.5 x 2.5") and either exchanging, gifting or selling the creations.
it's hard to see, but those are red foil stars, kinda like the one's teachers use when grading papers and such.
ever since jocelyncee
's wedding, i've found myself itching to collage and found this a fun opurtunity to do so. heck, i even found myself including some socio-political commentary. i hardly ever do that with my art. guess i'm overdue.
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i've been busy looking for work in big cities, such as kansas city, putting out resumes, going to work and visiting friends. i think i've done all i can do and learn as a designer here in arkansas. i must go elsewhere to continue to hone my skills.
i'm also in the process of packing up what i own and deciding what goes into storage. by the end of october i'll be leaving elsewhere, but not too far away.
my apartment has become too costly for me. i had thought i was moving home with dad but now, i've got a decision to make.
this past sunday, ken's folks touched me with their genorousity: they offered to let me live there, rent-free, until i found work in another city. when ken's sister's trailer is renovated, i could move in with her they said. it's located right by the house.
so, i have to decide whether i move in with them or go back to dad's? i'm torn.
i don't want to be a burden at either place...i think ken's folks feel obligated to look after me. before he lost consciousness, ken's speech started to slur. they think one of the last things he said was "take care of kathryn for me."
my eyes teared when i was told this. i just don't want to cause trouble i suppose, so i must think this out.
both would be temporary (i hope) until i can move on...i'm in a transistion period. i can recognize that now. i used to take these matters to ken and get his view. he was so down-to-earth and had great common sense. i miss his feedback, amoung many other things. his laugh, the way he pushed his glasses up his nose, being able to rest my head on his shoulder...
still grieving. doing better, but i came to realize something. after losing someone like ken, there is no true healing. i won't wake up one day and be like i was, but i can learn to live with it and go on. scar tissue on the soul, to paraphase madeleine l'engle.
time doesn't heal all wounds. that's a lie. however, it does make it easier to bear.
i think ken's advice on dealing with the grief would be to do more art. must make more time for it inbetween packing and whatnot.
sometimes i think i think too much, other time, too little.