quilt art

-drawn 26 Mar 2006-
pen & ink

i believe that ken would be furious if i gave up drawing out of sorrow and grief. the quilt project with alice continues as planned. that mean's sketches are back up here.
above is one of the vignettes for the quilt.

i drew this tonight at doug & c's house. alice and i had come over to watch movies and just veg.
i find myself sometimes feeling almost like me again-a bit cheery , actually and i feel guilty when i do.
c thought that it's just a normal part of the healing process, that life does go on and that ken wouldn't want me to stay sad.

i realize this, but i still feel guilty. i know that life is about change, you ever go with it or you choose not to, which results in stagnation and death. i just don't know what my future holds anymore. before, i had a pretty good idea.

c said that her mom lost a brother due to a drunk driving accident. he was just a teenager. it's been over 30 years and she still has trouble talking about it on some days. what has happened will always effect me, i just don't know how.